Confidence is a tricky thing. For some, it comes naturally with the years whilst others struggle with self-esteem issues their entire lives. On various social media sites, it has become a thing to put owning a negative attitude on a pedestal. Too many people trick themselves into finding false confidence, when they could be working on their core-happiness in much more healthy ways. Here are 5 of the most common pieces of nonsense that are floating about in the inter-web for the sole purpose of making their creator feel better about themselves.
- Just don’t give a … fudge!
Many people or faux-inspirational quotes online will advise you to stop caring altogether. You want to be happy? Then prepare to feel nothing but nothingness for the rest of your life – that seems to be the motto. Whilst this bit of advice may be coming from a good place, the phrasing of it couldn’t be more misleading. Caring shows that you are a functional human being with emotions and feelings.
- When you’re at your lowest point – that’s who you really are!
Too many #trending posts on the most popular social media outlets romanticize depression. It is common knowledge among netizens that sites like tumblr, being as wonderful and creative as they are, are used to create dark spaces where blue souls fuel each other. The currently trending quotes that claim that “You only truly find your own self once you’ve hit rock bottom” are very misleading and dangerous material to be viewed by easily impressionable young adults. The truth is, yes, feeling low is surely part of your identity. But it certainly does not make up more than the positive vibes, happy times and bright thoughts you experience throughout life.
- You have to relate to all the self-deprecating quotes you find online!
This next myth may be something we can all relate to, find amusement in or casually find ourselves agreeing with for the lulz. Popular Facebook pages and trending Instagram graphics often feature fun memes in combination with a quote or dialogue that shows an individual trash-talking their personality. Posts with punchlines like “LOL I’m a piece of trash” or “My room is a junk yard because I like to live among my own kind” may seem novel and funny at first, but this internet trend has become so extremely played out that one can’t help but think: Why are so many young individuals agreeing with the notion that they’re not good enough? In the end, as long as you enjoy these posts for the fun of it, all is well. But once the overwhelming influx of oh-so-relatable self-scolding has reached a certain limit, it’s better to find more positive internet literature to spend time and *likes* on.
- Needing other people is sooo pathetic!
There seems to be a general shared consensus that being clingy, needy or dependent is a sure-fire sign of lacking self-confidence. Whilst that may be true in extreme cases, people often forget that humans are social beings in nature. It is no crime to stick together and come to each other’s aid. Confidence does not equal becoming a wholly autonomous loner who only deals with other people when they absolutely need to.
- Kick anyone out of your life who dares to criticise you in the slightest!
Many confidence gurus on the world wide web like to emphasize how badass it is to stand your ground – And that part is 100% true! It is pretty cool if you can defend yourself if need be. However, if friends offer constructive criticism or family members disagree with your future plans at first, that does not make them evil, malevolent creatures that need to be gotten rid of at once. It is highly important to distinguish good intentions from fake friendliness. Becoming better at telling the two apart can help build your confidence in itself already! And then being able to say goodbye to toxic people in your life, while keeping the real MVPs is the cherry on top. Just remember that you don’t need to delete your oldest friend from Facebook just because they didn’t show up to your grandma’s birthday party. Focus on values that really matter to you personally and do not take advice from unlicensed strangers.
And remember, any online advice you find on the internet is to be taken with a grain of salt. Just like this article you’re reading right now. Trust your intuition, practice positivity and remember to appreciate your awesome self every single day!
Photo credits: Cover image by Pixabay