Where is the love?
While love is in the air this month, not all of us is in the mood for it, especially if we’re going through a heartbreak.
There are thousands of books and songs about it. Still it feels like none of them do justice to how you feel, when it turns your world upside down. It’s a painful process – we’ve all been there. Late-night texts or calls, innocent social media stalking, lots of ice cream and romantic movies… It goes on maybe just for a few days or for months.
The emotional response is more or less similar no matter how tough we normally are. The question is, why do the coping mechanisms that get us through all kinds of life challenges fail us so miserably when our hearts get broken?
How to heal
After his first TED Talk Why We All Need to Practice Emotional First Aid, psychologist and author of How to fix a Broken Heart and Emotional First Aid Guy Winch reveals in his second TED Talk how and why a broken heart hurts so much and offers techniques to recover from it.
“I have seen people of every age and background face every manner of heartbreak. What I’ve learned is this: when your heart is broken, the same instincts you ordinarily rely on will time and again lead you down the wrong path. You simply cannot trust what your mind is telling you.”
As we are trying to move on and let go, our minds fight to keep us stuck on the person and the memories from the relationship. Our brain wants to keep it all fresh, like it was yesterday, to relive all the moments again and again so that the pain we are feeling is justified. It’s just like an addiction. “Heartbreak creates such dramatic emotional pain, our mind tells us the cause must be equally dramatic,” Winch says.
Recovering starts with a decision and determination to stay on the path to healing. Hear his motivational words for yourselves, as he offers various ways to cope with a broken heart and eventually, move on.